DRAFT DESIGN

These are my drafts. Just putting em here so I know where I can find em if I need to send the url to anyone.

Resurrect the saint from within the wretch

After contemplating whether or not I should post this onto here for a good five days, I’ve decided to go a head with it. Last Gfresh night, and the conversation I had with a really awesome friend of mine yesterday led to the decision to post it on here.

This is my story.

I’ve been in church for almost all my life, CTJ for about 10 years. I attended sunday services, gfresh nights, connect nights and camps. However, most of these years were just me going to events of the such out of obligation and not because of the desire for more of God. One of my closest friends wrote about masks we wear at church and near other Christians, and that’s exactly what I was doing. I wore a mask. Transparent to some, I found out yesterday. This mask was the mask of “everything is fine”, albeit that was not the case.

SOS 09 coming around the corner and I had finally paid off the full amount, which I was almost forced to do thanks to some of the leaders. A week of preparation became one of the worst weeks of my life along with one of the most stressful. With a brave face I stepped onto the camp site feeling an influx of different emotions. Everyone around me  excited, it was a complete contrast to my indifference. I got into my cabin with a sigh of relief knowing I was well acquainted with some of my cabin members and squadron members.

During the first session ate babes said something along the lines of: “If you are going to go through camp and not get involved, you won’t get anything out of it.” I thought to myself “What do I have to lose?” She was absolutely correct. Before dinner and the night session on the second day, the warriors went “ALL OUT”.  Hair product of every kind and facepaint were pulled out of thin air. We walked to the session thinking it was going to be the costume show that we were told about earlier in the day. We were so wrong XD!

The second night’s session was a night of conviction. That night I whispered, so quietly because I was afraid that others would hear me, “God, if You are really there, You better show up or I’m good as gone.” I realized that night that my life was no longer about me, rather it was about my generation. Hesitant, I accepted the mandate to be the light and a vessel for change for my generation. After the session however, I felt no different to how I felt before the session. Except a little tired and gross from all the peeling facepaint and tons of crap that was in my hair.

The third day came along, I was refreshed from a good nights sleep and a sub zero temperature shower (serves me right for sleeping in LOL). That day we had a workshop with Mama Jose, the mother of CTJ. She poured her heart out to the guys and provided us wisdom and the comfort only found in the arms of a mother. However, I left that workshop still the same. I knew there was something VITAL I was missing. It wasn’t until that night I realized what it was. During worship I felt such a burden in my heart, desperately I called out to God. I had a simple plea: “I NEED YOU.” Seconds later, Gregory came over, hugged me and began to pray. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but what I did hear was: “I thank you for giving me a friend like this.” Or something along those lines. I was instantaneously brought to tears. For four years I had been so broken and bitter. I had no idea how anyone could thank God for a person like me. God showed me his love through a friend that night. I came to grips with what I was missing, it was Love. The very foundation I should be built on. The bitterness in my heart was replaced with love and the brokenness with compassion. That night the walls I put up were broken down. I was elated and ecstatic, levels of which I have never felt before in my entire life. I had lived my entire life so self absorbed I failed to realize what was in my face the whole time: MATTHEW 22:37! I left camp with an increased capacity to love.

Almost a month later, I’m still running. Hoping that it isn’t all hype but momentum. What is really helping me keep the flame burning is discipline and the people I now decide to surround myself with. Those who will challenge and motivate me to keep running. Those who have a passion burning brighter than the sun itself (how corny). The change isn’t complete yet, it is still in progress. There are still relationships that need to be repaired and a long way to go, but it is now up to me to maintain and strengthen my passion and flame.

Without Love, I am nothing:

“If I could speak all the languages of the earth and of angels but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Physical harvests from spiritual seeds.

I was not only saved from myself during SOS 2009, I was given a mission, a calling, a mandate. The Saturday night of SOS 2009 became a night of declaration and acceptance of God’s call for me to no longer act for myself but for God to save MY generation.

I remember thinking to myself that I wasn’t worthy or “holy” enough to answer the mandate but that doubt was put to rest as soon as I came across Romans 9:12 (“..He calls people, but not according to their good or bad works..”) during devotions after SOS. I remember hearing from someone (I can’t recall who) that, “God doesn’t call the qualified but qualifies the called.” Basically, I don’t have to be a Judah Smith or a TD Jakes to make an impact in MY generation.

However with this calling comes a responsibility. (lol that sounds like uncle ben from spiderman)

“…You do not belong to yourself, for God has bought you with a high price…” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

I’m no longer supposed to live for my own self gratification but rather to glorify God which I am now free to do. I am now called to live a selfless life where the spiritual seeds God constantly plants HAVE to be met with physical harvests (1 Corinthians 9:11). God expects a physical harvest and heck, I wanna give him one. -inserts corny picture of fb app. farmville here- JK

-Jeremiah

Blog or Bog?

All the recent blog talk has gotten me into the blogging mood again. So, like almost all my new blog introductory posts, this is where I’ll post my mind bogs. Yeah, I’d usually say vomit but I think bog is more fitting.

Let the blogging begin!